Thinking of you, dear little one.

You're always in my thoughts Ariya, I don’t have many photos of you, I have no idea what you look like now, but I know without a doubt that you have grown into a beautiful little lady, and that mummy and her family are taking the very best care of you. The photos I do have of you I cherish with all my heart. This is one of my favourites. It makes me so happy and gives me hope and the determination to keep going. For you Ariya, and for me, we are both worth it.

Arriya Star only a few days old.

I love how peaceful you look, and that your being watched over by fluffy friends, a little one should always have a hippo friend to watch over them, daddy has a hippo too, he looked after me when I was a little boy,  perhaps one day you will get to meet him and you and I shall be together again. Daddy is working really hard at the minute, I have a fantastic new job as a high-end chef and I'm getting lots of money that I'm going to put away for you, so one day you can have all the things I could not get for you when you were growing up. I'm going to try and do some more drawings for you and get you a nice photo of your daddy because I too have changed so much since we last saw each other, I'm fit as a fiddle and you deserve to see your daddy's face. be safe little one and I will post again as soon as I can.

X

Your Daddy

The Ragged Red Rogue

Hello there little one, Daddy has been very busy this last week working hard in his new job, its hard work but I love what I'm doing and for the first time in my life I really get a buzz from what I'm doing, I love working its an amazing feeling, I've changed so much its incredible.

Now even tho I'm a very busy chef I have something for you, something magical and full of wonder, you see your daddy has been on quite a few adventures, he has walked with dragons, seen impossible things and witnessed great acts of human kindness and courage. Along my travels, I have met a host of wonderful friends and I would like to share them with you. Now it just so happens that your daddy is a very talented artist and so my first gift to you Ariya Starr is a very special one, my love for you and mummy has inspired me in a way I never knew possible and so I give you this drawing of my very close friend (some would say the closest) Draco Starr!

Draco Starr, The Child Prince.

I hope you like it, and seeing as I cant be with you right now I have asked him to watch over you and mummy from afar, your guardian protector, you see in hushed little whispers all across the land, they tell tales of the Ragged Red Rogue, He is the keeper of the Maelstrom, his mighty wooden sword and the heart of chaos and lightning! He loves fun and adventure and always tries to do whats right even if he doesn't think things through, a witty little prince full of charm and magic. He is the first of many friends I have for you to meet dear one, I cannot wait to share them all with you, my special little girl, all my love.

X

Your Daddy

Proud of myself

Hello little one, I have some exciting news for you. Your daddy has gotten a new job! you see I have many talents and if I'm honest I have never had enough belief in myself, I have always been plagued by self-doubt and insecurities, I've always hidden it behind a mask of confidence, afraid that people would not like what lay hidden beneath. But that's all changed now, I believe in myself, I have my self-worth and I won't ever let anyone take it away from me. I owe it all to the hard-working people who helped daddy get better and to accept and deal with his problems. All of this has helped me push myself to a new level and I'm so proud of myself, I have just got to tell you about it.

I went for a work trial in a very high-end kitchen, you see daddy is a really talented chef, I love food and how it brings people together and makes them happy, and that in turn makes me happy. Anyway, it was simple stuff, to begin with, cut a few things here, prep a few things there, then the head chef comes to me with a wooden crate full of beautiful ingredients and says right cook me something you have an hour. It was fantastic, it was just like master chef on the tv! so I planned it all out and went about creating a dish from scratch with what I was given.

I came up with a Moroccan Prawn Dish, Prawns marinated in orange juice, lime, and harissa with a light couscous salad, finely sliced spring onion, fennel, and onion softened with lemon and orange juice dressing. I also made a couple of flatbreads and a yogurt, harissa and rosewater dip to go with it, got to use a pizza oven on that one, was great!

So the head chefs all tried it and seemed to enjoy it without giving too much away, they had really good poker faces, they told me how I could improve it but overall giving the time scale and how I had to improvise the dish I had done a really good job.

So the moment came, they sat me down in the office and said something that amazed me and made me so proud I just had to tell you about it. They said they thought daddy was a very talented chef, a real find, and they don't normally do this but they would like to offer daddy a job there and then! now, these guys are competition chefs they compete all around the country so for them to say that was just incredible.

It has done wonders for my confidence, self-belief, and I'm even more determined to succeed, this is my career, I love what I do and this is the start of bigger and better things for daddy. I know there may be more bumps in the road ahead for me but I know now that I have the skill the talent and the drive to get a job in any kitchen, I am good enough, I am strong and I will never go back to the old me.

X

Your Daddy

A poem, my choice and a promise to a my litttle lady

While I was away getting better little one I had a lot of time to think and I took the time to write and draw and be as creative as possible for you, you helped me create the best work I have ever done and for the first time I was doing it for me, very early on when I was getting better I made a choice and it felt like it was the first choice I had ever made that mattered. I made myself a promise, I made you and mummy and all the people that I have hurt and cared about in my life a promise. and for the first time in my life, I have enough confidence in myself to know that I will keep it, no matter what, because I am strong, I believe in myself and I believe in you, and I believe that this promise will lead me back to you Ariya Starr, one day, I hope its one day soon.

Renaissance in Direction

To never be cruel, nor cowardly, and if I ever am, remember to always make amends,

To speak only truth, tell no lie and never again hide with shadow and guile,

To fly with a new purpose,

Finding grace in diligence and choice,

To fight every day with great care and devotion,

To crow so proud, sharing loves jubilation,

This I do vow,

My promise to you,

For you my dear little one.

Shall keep me honest and

Ever true.

X

Your Daddy

Daddy will always love you

Hello, my dear, sweet little Ariya Starr, this is your daddy. We cannot be together right now so this blog is all I can give to you to show you how much I both miss and love you. The last time I held you in my arms you were only three weeks old. The photo below is of us together, That's me your daddy and it makes my heart sing every time I see this photo. you are my sunshine Ariya, my guiding light, and my truest north. I love you.

Daddy & Ariya

Daddy was a very sick man when this photo was taken. But he has been a very brave daddy and worked very hard to get better, for you, for mummy and her family and most important of all for himself. I am going to update this blog for you as much as possible and share with you all the wonderful things I have in my life now because I am a very different man now and I believe you have a right to know who I am. I have drawings, poems, and stories for you, I cannot wait to share them all with you. I know it's not much but it's all I can do for you right now. take care little one and know that you are missed and always loved.

X

Your Daddy